



An apple a day keeps the doctor away… if you throw it hard enough!.If plan A fails, at least there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.The problem was he/she wanted a serious relationship, and I’m a funny girl/guy.Love must truly be blind because it can’t see me at all.Try this: When you shake someone’s hand, jokingly say, “I’m so glad you had the privilege of meeting me”.Try this: Before you leave a room, say, “I bid you farewell!.That is, I did until I went out and bought a $3 bag of chips. Try this: Walk to the line for the nearest public bathroom and ask, “So, they fixed this one? Thank God! I just changed into some dry clothes.”.My parents moved around a lot when I was growing up, but I always found them.If you want to look thin and young, hang out with some fat old people.When everything in life is coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.I’m out of my mind… be back in five minutes!.Patience is a virtue, but I don’t want to wait.I’m not always hungry sometimes I’m sleepy, too.I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me.Try this: Call your friend and let them know you can’t talk right now.I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not really sure.

Excuse my naivety… I was born at a very early age.People are like refrigerators: it’s what’s inside that matters.Everyone talks about the early bird’s good luck, but what about the early worm’s bad luck?.Because the older she gets, the more he’ll love her. Every woman should marry an archeologist.If you can’t laugh at yourself, I can help you out.I’d like to help you out today, which way did you come in?.Common sense is like deodorant-the people who need it most never seem to use it.I tried to be normal once… worst two minutes of my entire life.After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.Here are some hilarious one-liners and funny quotes to toss into your conversations. At the same time, unexpected or random jokes can make you more memorable. Humor is a key likability cue that helps people feel more relaxed around you. Here are 140 funny things to say in any situation. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance between lightheartedness and being appropriate. Laughter is scientifically proven to bring people together, make you more likable, and help people feel more comfortable opening up. Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesn’t mean you can’t add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations. Whether you’re trying to be more witty, flirty, or be seen as an amateur comedian, making people laugh is a social superpower.
